Page 43 - North State Parent September 2022

NORTH STATE PARENT FAMILY RESOURCE GUIDE FALL/WINTER 2022/2023 FAMILY LIFE & SUPPORT
Stable Moments; Redding. A 10-month weekly mentorship program where
foster & adopted children work on goals
& develop life skills such as emotional awareness, self-regulation, anger manage- ment, healthy relationships, social cues & appropriate boundaries thru Equine Assist- ed activities & learning (EAL). This program seeks to improve the life course of foster & adopted children who have experienced ear- ly developmental trauma. roughoutranch. org. 21449 Roughout Rd. (209)256-9640.
SISKIYOU COUNTY
Court Appointed Special Advocates Association (CASA); Yreka. Serves Siskiyou County. Supports & promotes court-appointed volunteer advocacy so every abused or neglected child in the United States can be safe, have a perma- nent home & thrive. yesiskiyou.org/casa. (530)841-0844.
Tehama County Department of Social Services; Red Bluff. Connects children in difficult circumstances with loving foster families. Provides services for young adults who have aged out of the foster system but still need support. Also offers parent education classes & child abuse hotline. tcdss.org. 310 S. Main St. (530)527-1911.
GRIEF SUPPORT
ONLINE
Hospice Foundation of America. Hospice offers information online to help with understanding challenges that need to be faced when coping with grief. Local hos- pice programs often offer grief support. hospicefoundation.org. (800)854-3402.
Dougy Center; Portland, OR. The National Grief Center for Children & Families. Pro- vides support in a safe place where chil- dren, teens, young adults & families who are grieving can share their experiences before & after death. Offers training locally, nationally, internationally, grief education & training, community support & response, grief support, podcast & bookstore. dougy. org. (503)775-5683.
Return Home; Auburn, WA. Natural end- of-life termination service gently trans- forms human remains into rich, fertile soil to return to the earth. Provides at-need death care. returnhome.com. 4146 B PI NW. (206)888-4663.
Green Burial Council. Burial with minimal environmental impact that aids in the conservation of natural resources, reduction of carbon emissions, protection of worker health & the restoration/preservation of habitat. greenburialcouncil.org.
Conservation Burial Alliance.
conservationburialalliance.org.
National Home Funeral Alliance. homefu- neralalliance.org.
The Forest. willowwittranch.com.
BUTTE COUNTY
Camp Okizu; Oroville. Annual weekend bereavement camps for families & siblings who have lost a child/sibling to childhood cancer. okizu.org. (415)382-9083.
SISKIYOU COUNTY
Madrone Hospice; Yreka. Grief support
& counseling services for those who have lost a loved one. All ages. madronehospice. org. 255 Collier Circle. (530)842-3160. Mercy Hospice; Mount Shasta. Serves South Siskiyou County. Grief support groups & one-on-one support for anyone who is grieving. mercymtshasta.org. 914 Pine St. (530)926-6111.
Resources For
Children & Families
Dealing With Grief
Dougy Center
Founded in 1982 in Portland, Oregon, Dougy Center started the first peer grief support groups for children, and has become a world- renowned model for bereavement support known as The Dougy Center Model.
Mission: “To provide grief support in a safe place where children, teens, young adults, and their families can share their experiences before and after a death. We provide support and training locally, nationally, and internationally to individuals and organizations seeking to assist children who are grieving. dougy.org
Buzzy’s Bees
Support for families through the unexpected loss of a child. Mission: “To change the grief culture surrounding the unexpected loss of a child (stillborn to 12 years old) through outreach, education, and programs offering emotional and financial support.” buzzysbees.org
Modern Loss
“Modern Loss is a place to share the unspeakably taboo, unbelievably hilarious, and unexpectedly beautiful terrain of navigating your life after a death. Beginners welcome.This project grew out of two friends’ separate experiences with sudden loss, and their struggle to find resources that weren’t too clinical, overtly religious, patronizing or, frankly, cheesy.” Books include: The Modern Loss Handbook: An Interactive Guide to Moving Through Grief and Building Your Resilience and Modern Loss: Candid Conversation About Grief. Beginners Welcome. modernloss.com Ó
WHAT TO SAY
Most of us haven’t been taught what to say
when someone we know is grieving, so it’s easy to fall back on platitudes and clichés. Here are suggestions for what to say instead to a parent, caregiver, or colleague who is grieving. Of course, many of these questions can be adapted to use with children.
RATHER THAN...
I know what you’re going through.
While you might want to let them know you get it, doing so puts the focus on you and can close the door on the grieving person’s unique experience and connection with the person who died.
TRY...
Grief is so unique for each person. What is it like for you?
RATHER THAN...
Don’t feel that way.
Trying to wash away someone’s difficult emotions can give the message they
are wrong or bad for feeling how they feel.
TRY...
You’re really struggling with feeling guilty. I’m here if you want to share more.
and not to say
RATHER THAN...
I’m sorry for your loss.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this phrase, but it’s hard to know how to respond and can feel like an afterthought phrase that starts to lose its meaning after hearing
it so many times.
RATHER THAN...
How are you?
Under the best of circumstances this question can be difficult to answer. Add in loss and answering a casual, off-handed, “How are you?” might be overwhelming.
TRY...
Nice to see you. I’m glad you’re here. How are things today/this morning/in this moment?
TRY...
Thank you for telling me about what happened. I know there are no words to make it better. Just know that I’m here and want to support you and your family however I can.
RATHER THAN...
Are you/they over it?
This implies pressure to be “better” or to go back to how someone was before a loss.
TRY...
There is no timeline for grief. We are here to support you and your family over the long term.
RATHER THAN...
Did you get closure?
Closure means something different to each person and for many, it’s not the goal of grief.
TRY...
How does your family and culture mark major life transitions like this?
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