The Other Eloping …
There is a term that many parents of special needs children are familiar with. It means to wander off, bolt, escape, or run away. This behavior is referred to as eloping, but that connotation has always bothered me. I associate eloping with getting married, which is meant to be a joyful and happy occasion, and there is nothing joyful or happy about this type of activity. It seems to be especially prevalent in children on the autism spectrum, and our 11-year-old daughter Lilly is no exception.
Children and adults on the spectrum wander off or bolt for a multitude of reasons; exploring, seeking out a favorite place, trying to avoid anxiety or discomfort, or in mid-meltdown. Every time we go somewhere unfamiliar with Lilly, I am in a constant state of hypervigilance, scoping out our surroundings for any major danger zones should she happen to get agitated.
We have chain locks on all the doors due to her past escapes, and after an incident several years ago on a family vacation where she wandered off my in-laws’ property, I make sure she is always within arm’s reach when we leave the house. I have read countless news stories about autistic children wandering off, and the outcomes are often tragic. My heart breaks a little each time because I know how easily that could have been our child.
There is no magic solution to keep kids from wandering, but technology is advancing in ways that could give parents a little extra peace of mind. GPS tracking devices (usually in the form of a bracelet or a clip-on) are now available.
There is a tendency to blame the parents in cases of children wandering, but I can tell you that the day Lilly walked off while we were on vacation, there were at least three adults present within feet of her, and she still managed to quickly and quietly slip away. It can happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime.
If you have a child who is inclined to wander, creating awareness is one of the best things you can do to keep them safe. Give your neighbors a heads-up, as well as the police. Educate everyone you know who might be around your child for any length of time because in cases like these, it does take a village.
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