Raising a child with special needs is equally difficult and rewarding. The daily challenges of parenting a child with special needs can be taxing, leaving parents feeling physically, emotionally, and financially drained. Over time, the stress can wear down even the strongest of relationships. The divorce rate for parents of children with special needs has been consistently higher than for couples that don’t have a child with a disability.
No relationship is perfect or easy all the time. Typical relationships ebb and flow and have their ups and downs. When you throw in the demands of caring for a child with special needs, it adds another layer of stress. Like any relationship, you can take steps to keep the lines of communication open and manage the stress of everyday life.
Build a support network
The saying “it takes a village” is especially relevant to families of kids with special needs. Even though most of us are bad at asking for help when we need it, it’s important to have a network of family and friends that you can reach out to if needed. Not everyone has the luxury of having family living nearby or might be in an area where they don’t know many people. In this case, there are ways to build a support network.
Check local resources such as Rowell Family Empowerment center for support groups for parents of children with special needs. You can do a search on Facebook for groups focused on parents of children with special needs. Even though there aren’t many in-person meet-ups currently due to COVID-19, you can still find connections in your area.
Communication with your partner is vital
Effective communication with your partner is vital, and given how hectic life is for parents with special needs, there often isn’t a lot of time for small talk. Many couples often let minor annoyances build up over time until they reach a boiling point and a heated argument ensues. Being proactive in addressing frustrations can go a long way. Carving out just 10 minutes a day for one-to-one communication can make a huge difference.
Don’t be afraid to seek professional help
If you’re hitting roadblocks in communication, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. Couples counseling can give parents the tools they need to communicate more effectively and manage their stress before it boils over or explodes.
It is common for parents of children with special needs to lose touch, blame each other, or resent one another. Marriage or couples therapy is a way to learn new and effective ways to communicate, process unresolved grief, or work to create time for yourself and your partner. There’s no shame in the therapy game!
Prioritize your relationship
The choices of caregivers are limited for families like ours. Many of our kids may require a nursing level of care. It’s hard to find someone we trust to care for them, and even then, it’s hard for us to leave our medically fragile kids, and we spend most of our time away worrying and glancing at our phone to check for incoming messages. Another reason is that after days of medical appointments, therapies, and round-the-clock care, we are exhausted and frazzled. Just the thought of trying to arrange a date night makes us even more tired.
In the whirlwind that is parenting kids with special needs, it’s important to prioritize your relationship with your spouse, even if you don’t leave the house. Devoting some one-on-one time to reconnect, sit down and talk about something other than medication, diaper changes and therapy schedules is essential.
Posted in: Special Needs, Uniquely Us
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