Drew & Kaylee Silva – A “Third Place” to Disconnect from Devices and Reconnect with Community

When they heard of the “third place” theory introduced by sociologist Ray Oldenburg, Drew and Kaylee Silva knew the term encapsulated their vision for Matrix Cards & Games in the Redding community.

Drew and Kaylee pose here with the store mascot, Velomachus, who has been a fixture in the store since week one.
Photos by Kate Hiller

“Third places” are places other than home (the “first place”) and work (the “second place”) that build up a sense of safety, social connection and belonging. So much more than a game retail store, Matrix exists to make room – literally and metaphorically – for connection and community. Since taking over ownership of the store in 2023, the Silvas have intentionally shaped it into a place for kids and families to, as Drew says, “disconnect from the devices in front of them and reconnect friends and family across the table.”

Matrix’s wide selection and intentionally immersive experience mean there is a niche – and a network of fellow nerds – for everyone who walks into the store.

As you enter, you may notice a pleasant aroma and curated music wafting through the air while you browse colorful displays of Pokémon cards or Magic: The Gathering. You might snatch a mint from a bowl as you walk by to peruse kits for building Gunpla snap-fit figures and models.

By engaging all five senses, the Silvas reduce the felt need for Matrix guests to keep checking their phones – one step toward disconnecting to reconnect.

Through their own childhood experiences and research they have heard about at conferences throughout the country, Drew and Kaylee have learned games have the potential to develop critical thinking, cooperation, communication, perseverance, problem-solving and pure human connection. Upon buying Matrix, they began organizing special events as well as weekly game times for different groups. Ben Arntson, a friend, customer and consultant for Matrix since the Silvas took ownership, points out that these events usually do not generate a profit for the store. But they do generate what the Silvas value more: community.

Supporting and Empowering the Next Generation

Drew says, “of all things,” the Dungeons & Dragons (D & D) program has become especially effective toward building community for families, including those whose kids are on the autism spectrum or have other learning needs. For kids who struggle to focus, this highly collaborative, interactive game exercises sustained concentration skills. “You have to have something creative enough to capture their attention, because unfortunately kids have been trained at a young age to have an attention span that is about 15 seconds,” Drew observes. “We know how the real world is; I wish we could get through all our problems in 15 seconds! So how do you capture that attention longer?”

One answer, it seems, involves gathering “a table full of people being silly, about to go slay a dragon with their swords.” Every week, the D & D group attracts two children-only tables (for kids 12 years old and under) and at least one family table, which helps kids build community with each other, their parents and other adults. “You’ll get a shy kid who comes in with his dad every single Saturday night, and then, sooner or later, he just sees you as a normal fixture, and this shy kid just opens up because he’s comfortable interacting with you,” Drew says. As a result of becoming “a normal fixture” in the lives of many youths in Redding, the Silvas frequently attend theater performances and sports events, showing their support extends beyond the four walls and working hours of the store.

Loving and supporting youth means more to the Silvas than only applauding a job well done. As former tennis coaches and juvenile detention officers, they both seek to support kids toward their higher potential. “We’ve never babied kids,” Drew says. “We help kids learn to lose respectfully and humbly. The foundation of our community going forward will be the next generation. Kaylee and I were born and raised here. We’re here to stay because we love the community.”

Drew and Kaylee are excited about current remodel projects that will create new and improved spaces for hospitality and connection.

The Silvas have even hired some of the “kids” who have grown up around Matrix, including Ben’s daughter. Ben describes the Silvas as deeply generous with their time and resources, especially for kids who lack support or resources at home. He fondly recalls Kaylee empowering his daughter’s 3D printing when she was younger and spending time discussing her ideas for owning her own business someday. According to Ben, the Silvas “want to build a place that people come to work, and it’s not just their first job, it’s their job where they can stay as long as they want to. For a business owner to think that way and constantly try to find ways to take better care of employees – that’s a pretty rare thing.”

Role Modeling How to Care for the North State Community

Ben recounts a recent email sent to Matrix’s 12 employees that encouraged them to be mindful of their growing responsibility as role models in the community and asked them to share any community initiatives Matrix should be involved in. “What kind of boss wakes up on a random Wednesday and sends an email like that?” Ben says. “It’s absolutely encouraging.”

Beyond paid staff, Matrix’s Community Ambassador program also empowers people who are passionate about a given intellectual property to build up the community. “If we have a regular customer who paints every day, and somebody is asking me about paints, I’m going to get them connected,” Kaylee says. Drew describes it as an “organically grassroots style, so other people who are much more passionate about it are stimulating those parts of the community.”

Drew and Kaylee see Matrix as an opportunity to create belonging for those who “haven’t really found a place where they felt like they fit in,” to give back to the community that raised them and to strengthen it for future generations. “Spend some time with the Silvas,” Ben says, “and the most important thing you learn having walked away from them is love. They demonstrate it is more than a noun; it is a verb and requires action, which they embody every day.”