Building the Parent-Child Bond

Photo by Amber Thompson Photography

The first and most important relationship we have in our lives is the one with our parents. Children learn how to love, play, interact and resolve conflict through the bond they form with their mom and dad. From the moment a child is born, their parents’ love and attention helps their confidence and identity develop. As children mature, the bond strengthens through shared experiences and by spending quality time together. Here are some easy ways to strengthen the parent-child bond.

Play together

The simplest way to bond with your child is playing together. Play comes naturally to children and it teaches life skills such as how to share, resolve conflict and follow rules. When you play peek-a-boo, toss a ball in the backyard, play house or make crafts, you are sharing in their joy and creating a safe place to share feelings and express worries.

Find activities to enjoy together

If your child enjoys reading, create a two-person book club and discuss the books as you read. If your child loves football, make game night a family event and cheer on your team. If your child is interested in dinosaurs, visit a museum. Lifelong friends and a lifelong parent child bond can grow from spending time doing activities you can enjoy together.

Say I love you and provide physical affection

It is likely your children know you love them but how often do you tell them? Saying, “I love you” to your child has powerfully positive effects. Telling your child why is equally powerful. Try saying, “I love you because you are so fun to be around;” or, “I love you because you care about others.” Words of affirmation are powerful tools that give our kids the self confidence they need to face the world. Similarly, snuggling, hugs, kisses and pats on the back all create a strong bond.

Make your child a priority

Put down your phone and talk to your child. If you have a task that needs to be done, ask her to let you finish it and when it’s complete, give your child your full attention. If you have multiple children, set aside time to go on a “date” with each child so you can connect and check in. Ask open-ended questions and then listen to the answers. When you commit to making your child a priority, he feels important and your relationship gets stronger.

Incorporate quality time into the daily routine

Busy parents can find time for quality moments by incorporating them into the daily routine. While you are cooking dinner, doing dishes or folding laundry, ask your child to help and start up a conversation. Some kids may bond with their parents over fixing the car, painting, gardening or any household task. In the process, you have the chance to help your child learn life skills and a good work ethic.

Let them know you love them no matter what

One of the best ways to build a healthy bond with your child is to let her know you will love her no matter what. You communicate this by listening to her problems, offering advice when appropriate and then respecting her decisions, even if it will have negative consequences. If your child makes a mistake, let him know you are there to love and support him through any challenges. Everyone needs to know they have someone in their corner, especially on the bad days.