Page 92 - North State Parent Family Resource Guide Fall/Winter 20/21

YOUTH & TEEN NORTH STATE PARENT FAMILY RESOURCE GUIDE FALL/WINTER 2020/2021
How to Talk
to Your Teen
About Violence
and Trauma
BY KATEY NICOLAI, PHD
In the United States, four out of ten adolescents have directly witnessed violence, 17 percent have been physically assaulted, and eight percent have experienced sexual assault. These rates are even higher for teens from marginalized or oppressed groups.
Experiencing trauma affects everyone differently. Most people who experience a traumatic event don’t develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but teens are at a higher risk. It is estimated that 75 percent of children who experience a school shooting and 90 percent of children who are sexually abused develop PSTD. Experiencing trauma can interfere with a teen’s cognitive and social development and increase academic problems, making them more likely to engage in risky behavior such as using substances.
While violence portrayed in the news and on social media has been a concern for some time, sharing videos containing police brutality, school violence and hate crimes has amplified the concerns for parents.
Here are five practical tips that you can use to talk to your teen about violence and trauma.
Creating a safe place at home makes it easier to talk about violence and trauma.
Creating safety at home is essential
Creating a home-based environment of supportive safety where your teen can find acceptance and consistency is essential. Provide reassurance that you are learning together.
It is important for teens and young adults to hear that we don’t have all the answers but are open to learning and understanding different perspectives. Learning together and discussing these topics as a family creates safety and connection—both antidotes to trauma.
Finding new options
Finding an experienced clinician who specializes in adolescent mental health can be a huge help in navigating the complex process of resolving trauma. Today, new options such as teletherapy are emerging to support teens and young adults regardless of geographic location.
Katey Nicolai, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist who works with uplift.com to provide personalized therapy for youth and teens.. This article first appeared at upliftnavigator.com, where you can find other important mental health topics for teens and young adults.
Create a safe place for emotions
Creating a safe place for emotions will allow your teen to share if they are feeling confused or overwhelmed. Listen first and ask questions second. It may take several conversations to establish a connection, so your best bet is to remain calm and consistent. Try not to let your own worries direct the conversation; instead, create space for the free expression of emotions they are experiencing. Remind them frequently that you are a trusted resource they can rely on, no matter what.
Invite your teen to share thoughts and feelings
Invite your teen to share their thoughts and feelings about what they have been experiencing, reading or viewing in the news and online. Here are some examples of how to get the conversation started:
“I was reading in the news about the protests today. I’m curious what you think about what’s going on?” “Have you talked to any of your friends about what
happened?”
“What’s happening at school sounds like a lot to
handle. I’m a listening ear if you would like to talk.”
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92 North State Parent Family Resource Guide Fall/Winter 2020/2021 • www.northstateparent.com