Page 44 - North State Parent Family Resource Guide Fall/Winter 20/21

FAMILY LIFE & SUPPORT NORTH STATE PARENT FAMILY RESOURCE GUIDE FALL/WINTER 2020/2021
HOW TO HELP A GRIEVING FRIEND
While there is no one perfect way to respond or to support someone you care about, here are some good ground rules.
DON’T
DON’T FACT CHECK OR CORRECT
Especially in early grief, facts and timelines can be confused.
DON’T GIVE COMPLIMENTS
When someone is in pain, they don’t need to be reminded how wonderful they are.
DON’T TALK ABOUT “LATER”
Right now, in this present moment, that future is irrelevant.
DON’T START WITH SOLUTIONS
In most cases, people need to feel heard, not be “fixed.”
ASK QUESTIONS
You can connect by showing curiosity about their experience.
REMEMBER THIS GRIEF IS THEIRS
Grief belongs to the griever. Your opinions are irrelevant.
say,
SISKIYOU COUNTY
Madrone Hospice; Yreka. Grief support and counseling services for those who have lost a loved one. All ages. madronehospice.org. 255 Collier Circle. (530) 842-3160.
Mercy Hospice; Mount Shasta. Serves South Siskiyou County. Grief support groups and one-on-one support for any- one who is grieving. mercymtshasta.org. 914 Pine St. (855) 407-8792, ext. 455
LEGAL ASSISTANCE
MULTIPLE COUNTIES
Law Help California Website. Helps people of low and moderate incomes find free legal aid programs in their communi- ties. Helps find answers to questions about legal rights and forms to help with legal problems. LawHelpCa.org.
Legal Services of Northern California. Serves all upper CA counties. Compre- hensive website offers legal resources
and research tools. Offers a legal services program providing civil representation to low-income clients. Assists with tenant, public benefits and unemployment issues. Helps grandparents raising grandchildren with guardianships. LSNC Health Hotline assists with health care issues. lsnc.net. (916) 551-2150.
Butte, Glenn & Tehama. 541 Normal Ave., Chico. (530) 345-9491 or (800) 345-9491. Shasta & Siskiyou. 1370 West St., Red- ding. (530) 241-3565 or (800) 822-9687.
BUTTE COUNTY
Butte County SHARP; Chico/Oroville.
Self Help and Referral Program provides general assistance to people who do not have attorneys; family law, guardianships, evictions, small claims, name changes
and restraining orders. Program staff will provide information about procedure, sub- stantive law and choices that litigants may have, allowing people to make informed decisions about their cases. Offices open Mon-Fri., 8:30am-4pm. sharpcourts.org.
Chico. 1775 Concord Ave.
(530) 532-7015.
Oroville. 1 Court St. (530) 532-7015.
Community Legal Information Cen-
ter (CLIC); Chico. CLIC is a student-run, nonprofit organization that has been providing legal information to students and community members for more than 40 years. CLIC provides paralegal intern- ship opportunities with students working directly under CLIC’s four supervising attorneys. Find CLIC under Services at as.csuchico.edu. 25 Main St, Ste. 102. (530) 898-4354.
GLENN COUNTY
Glenn County Family Law Facilitator Program; Willows. Assists self-represented family law litigants with the preparation of family law petitions, responses, motions and declarations in cases where child or spousal support is an issue. The court now offers free services to people who need
help with family law matters. A licensed at- torney provides direct services to families. By appt. only. Find Family Law Facilitator under Court Information at glenncourt. ca.gov. (530) 934-6446 ext. 7004.
Glenn County Self Help Center; Willows. Staff provide information about procedure, substantive law and choices litigants may have, allowing people to make informed decisions about their cases. Staff can assist litigants in completing their legal forms by explaining what information is being sought. Self-Help Center staff do not give legal advice. Find Self Help under Court at glenn- court.ca.gov. 119 N. Butte St. (530) 934-7114.
SHASTA COUNTY
Shasta County Family Law Facilitator/ Self Help; Redding. Provides general information and assistance completing necessary court forms for child support issues, filing for divorce or legal separation, final judgments in family law cases, grand- parent visitation, guardianship cases and more. See Self Help at shastacourts.com. 1500 Court St. (530) 245-6900.
SISKIYOU COUNTY
Siskiyou County Family Law Facilitator/ Self Help; Yreka. A facilitator is an attorney who provides legal information about issues including child/spousal support, divorce/ separation, custody/visitation issues, name changes, evictions, and more. Facilitators only assist those representing themselves in court and do not represent clients in court. siskiyou.courts.ca.gov. Email: facilitator@ siskiyou.courts.ca.gov. 311 4th St.
TEHAMA COUNTY
Tehama County Family Law Facilitator; Red Bluff. Provides parents with educa- tional materials concerning the court processes of establishing and maintaining parentage rights or child and spousal support. Also helps distribute necessary court forms and voluntary declarations of paternity. Aids in completing forms, child support issues and more. Find Family Law Facilitator under Court & Legal Documents at tehamachildsupport.org. 1760 Walnut St. (530) 529-6116.
Tehama Superior Court SHARP; Red Bluff. Self Help and Referral Program provides general assistance to people who do not have attorneys; family law, guardianships, evictions, small claims, name changes, guardianship and restraining orders. Program staff provide information about procedure, substantive law and choices that litigants may have, allowing people
to make informed decisions about their cases. sharpcourts.org. 1740 Walnut St. (530) 527-8649.
PARENTING CLASSES & ENRICHMENT
MULTIPLE COUNTIES
Parent Cafés; Butte & Shasta. Parent Cafés are opportunities for parents to share
DO
DON’T COMPARE GRIEFS
No one else has experienced their grief.
RESPECT THEIR EXPERIENCE
It’s not important who’s “more” correct.
DON’T MINIMIZE
Even if you might think their grief is out of proportion to the situation.
TRUST YOUR FRIEND
All the things you love about the person will help them through this experience.
DON’T BE A CHEERLEADER.
When things are dark, it’s OK to be dark.
MIRROR THEIR REALITY
When they say, “This sucks,” “Yes, it does.”
STAY IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
Or if the person is talking about the past, join them there.
DON’T EVANGELIZE
When something has worked for you, it’s tempting to prescribe it for others.
TRUST THEIR SELF-CARE
They know themselves best. What works for you may not be for them.
GET CONSENT
Before you offer advice or strategies.
SHOW U
GRIEF SUPPORT
ONLINE
Hospice Foundation of America. Hospice offers information online to help with understanding challenges that need to be faced when coping with grief. Local hos- pice programs often offer grief support. hospicefoundation.org. (202) 457-5811 or (800) 854-3402.
BUTTE COUNTY
Camp Okizu; Oroville. Provides annual weekend bereavement camps for families & siblings who have lost a child/sibling to
childhood cancer. okizu.org. (415) 382-9083.
Forever Loved Perinatal Loss Support Group; Chico. Provides support for anyone who has experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or newborn loss. Free. enloe.org. (530) 332-7610. Road to Relief Support Group; Oroville. Weekly group helps participants navigate through grieving loss due to death, a move, divorce, estrangement from family or job loss. aafcc-oroville.org. African American Family & Cultural Center, 3300 Spencer Ave. (530) 532-1205.
SHASTA COUNTY
Mercy Hospice; Redding. Offers bereavement support groups for all ages and all types of death losses. 1544 Market St. (844) 903-1240
P. LISTEN. DON’T FIX.
ABOVE ALL, SHOW YOUR LOVE.
Be willing to stand beside the gaping hole that has
opened in your friend’s life, without flinching or
turning away. Your steadiness of presence is the Emotionally Intelligent Grief Support absolute best thing you can give. www.refugeingrief.com
44 North State Parent Family Resource Guide Fall/Winter 2020/2021 • www.northstateparent.com