Page 48 - North State Parent March 2022

FAMILY LIFE & SUPPORT NORTH STATE PARENT FAMILY RESOURCE GUIDE SPRING/SUMMER 2022
success of foster placements, whether the
child needs standard or intensive level care &
no matter the length of stay. readyforlife.net.
962 Maraglia St. (530) 222-1826.
Shasta County Foster Care, Adoptive &
and appropriate boundaries. roughoutranch. org. 21449 Roughout Road. (209) 256- 9640.
SISKIYOU COUNTY
Court Appointed Special Advocates Association (CASA); Yreka. Serves Siskiyou County. Supports and promotes court-ap- pointed volunteer advocacy so every abused or neglected child in the United States can be safe, have a permanent home and have the opportunity to thrive. yesiskiy- ou.org/casa. (530) 841-0844.
TEHAMA COUNTY
Tehama County Department of Social Services; Red Bluff. Connects children in difficult circumstances with loving foster families. Provides services for young adults who have aged out of the foster system but
GRIEF SUPPORT
ONLINE
Hospice Foundation of America. Hos-
pice offers information online to help with understanding challenges that need to be faced when coping with grief. Local hospice programs often offer grief support. hospice- foundation.org. (800) 854-3402.
OTHER AREAS
Dougy Center; Portland, OR. The National
Grief Center for Children & Families. Pro-
vides support in a safe place where children,
teens, young adults, and families who are
grieving can share their experiences before
and after a death. Support and training
locally, nationally, and internationally to
Return Home; Auburn, WA. Natural end-of- life terramation service gently transforms human remains into rich, fertile soil to return to the earth. Provides at-need death care. returnhome.com. 4146 B PI NW. (206) 888-4663
Green Burial Council. Burial with minimal environmental impact that aids in the conservation of natural resources, reduction of carbon emissions, protection of worker health, and the restoration and/or preserva- tion of habitat. greenburialcouncil.org, Con- servation Burial Alliance at conservation- burialalliance.org, and the National Home Funeral Alliance at homefuneralalliance. org. Find The Forest, Oregon’s first dedicated natural burial ground (near Ashland), at willowwittranch.com.
BUTTE COUNTY
Camp Okizu; Oroville. Annual weekend bereavement camps for families & siblings who have lost a child/sibling to childhood cancer. okizu.org. (415) 382-9083.
Kinship Care; Redding. Full-service domestic
GRNIGEVTHINEMG ta.ca.us. 2650 Breslauer Way. (530) 225-5554.
adoption & foster care agency. Children of
all ages, backgrounds and abilities await the
chance to live, laugh and grow in a place they
can call home. search “foster care” on co.shas-
Shasta County HHSA Resource Family Approval; Redding. Full-service domestic adoption & foster care agency. Foster Care Licensing: 1313 Yuba St. (530) 225-5554.
TI
Stable Moments; Redding. A 10-month weekly mentorship program where foster and adopted children work on goals through Equine Assisted Learning (EAL). This program seeks to improve the life course of foster and adopted children who have experienced early
791. (530) 225-5554.
Kins
A
hip Care:
doptio
ns: (530
) 225-5
This tip sheet is a collection of suggestions from grieving
developmental trauma. The program uses
still need support. Also offers parent edu- assist children in grief. Grief education &
structured EAL activities to help foster and
cation classes and child abuse hotline. See training, community support & response,
kids, teens and young adults. They share specific things
adopted youth develop life skills such as emo- Child Protective Services at tcdss.org. 310 S. tional awareness, self-regulation, anger man- Main St. (530) 527-1911.
grief support, podcast, bookstore. dougy. org. (503) 227-5683.
you can do and say to be supportive. Note: grief is as unique as we are, so not all of these suggestions will fit
agement, healthy relationships, social cues,
individuals and organizations seeking to
for your particular friend. Pick the ones you think might
YOUR FRIEND IS GRIEVING
be helpful — or you can show them this tip sheet and talk
TIPS FOR SUPPORTING THEM
about what they think would work for them.
WHAT DOES GRIEF LOOK LIKE?
You’re likely reading this
This tip sheet is a collection of suggestions from grieving
You know those casual comments people make with words like “dead” or “kill”? They
SO WHAT SHOULD I SAY?
With that list of what not to say, you might be wondering, “Well, what should I say?” Everyone is different, so there’s no perfect thing to say, but here are some ideas.
because someone you’re close can be really painful for your friend who
you can do and say to be supportive. Note: grief is as
anyone) would just die, my life would life died, believe it and don’ytouq’ll ubeeabsletitotnell biytw. hGatrthieyfloolok loikekosr how
you might not know what to do or say, people who are grieving
kid
ns
a
a parent, sibling, partner, close for your particular friend. Pick the ones you think might IT’S WAY MORE THAN JUST SADNESS...
NOPE
I’m sorry for your loss.
I know what you’re going through.
Are you still grieving?/Aren’t you over it yet?
I know how you feel, my grandmother died last year.
You’re just so sad lately.
YES !
I heard about your dad, I’m here for talking, not talking, taking a break...etc.
Grief is so different for everyone, what’s it been like for you?
There is no grief timeline — I won’t get tired of hearing about yours.
Everyone’s grief
is different, just wanted you to know that I’ve had someone die too. It’s not the same, but I get it on some level.
Want to hangout this weekend?
to is grieving. Whether they had is grieving.
unique as we are, so not all of these suggestions will fit
what to say or do and not say
or do. Grief is confusing, both ● “You gave me a heart attack.”
all. Just because someone is grieving, doesn’t mean
for those grieving and for those
WHAT DOES GRIEF LOOK LIKE?
IT’S WAY MORE THAN JUST SADNESS... they are acting. If yo●u’v“IewhisehAanmyrtdhying(tmhanaod emtves/rdyotahmidng/e—boraondteshoemirne/tsimitsehtseneori/trhing at
they are acting. If you’ve heard that someone in their be so much better.”
you’ll be able to tell b●y“wYohua’ret tkhilleinyglmoeo/kheli’skekilolinrghito.”w
who care about them. It can feel
awkward, scary, uncomfortable,
confusing, and surreal. Just as all. Just because someone is grieving, doesn’t mean
different for everyone and clifae dniedb, belieaveffiteancdtdeond’t qbueystiotnhit.inGrgiefsloolkiske often aren’t sure what they *It can also be hard for your friend to hear
s, tee
nd
yo
Try to avoid saying things like:
friend, or other family member be helpful — or you can show them this tip sheet and talk die, you might be wondering about what they think would work for them.
● “This class is killing me.”
Anything and everything — and sometimes nothing at
ung adults. They share specific things
different for everyone and can be affected by things like
sonemed.eThoant’sew’hsy a“Lgetem,etknhoewir relationship with the person who someone’s age, their relationship with the person who
people complaining about the people in
if I can do anything” can be died, religious/not religious background, gender, culture,
died, religious/not religtihoeuirslifbe.aIcf kyogurrofurinendd,’sgmenomdedri,ecdualntdure, hard to hear. If you’ve already ethnicity, and everything else that goes into the unique
constellation that is your friend. You can best help your mom is still in your life, be aware of ethnicity, and everything else that goes into the unique
said that, it’s okay — almost
your friend by supporting however they are expressing
everyone does. how you talk about her in front of
their grief, as long as they aren’t hurting themselves or
constellation that is your friend. You can best help
someone else. your friend.*
your friend by supporting hIof ywou earve weorritedhtehayt yoaur efrieendxispthrienksinsg ianbogut ● Makinhgurgtinegsotrukrilelinsgltihkemshealvnesg, rienagch ourt stohsoometoineg
their grief, as long as they ayroeu tnru’st fohruherlpt.iYnougcatnhalesomcalsl 1e-8l0v0e-27s3-ToArLK
someone else.
to get additional support.
WHERE TO START
yourself or someone else
● “I feel like dying/I could kill myself right Put down the toolbox. Your friend doesn’t need you to fix them or their grief, which is good because
now.” — AND — If you’re having thoughts If you are worried that your friend is thinking about
grief can’t be fixed! What they do need is for you to show up, stick around, act normal, and listen.
of suicide, please say something to
hurting or killing themselves, reach out to someone
Sounds easy right? It can be, and sometimes even people with the best intentions avoid the person
someone you trust and ask for help.
who is grieving because they don’t know what to do or say. Death and grief can make people really
you trust for help. You can also call 1-800-273-TALK
uncomfortable, so there’s a good chance your friend is having to deal with other people’s feelings about
1-800-273-TALK.
their feelings. You can make a difference by being the friend who listens without making it about you. to get additional support.
The Dougy Center 503.775.5683 Visit us online at: dougy.org Like us Follow us Subscribe page 1
AND WHAT CAN I DO?
48
esn’t need you to fix them or their grief, which is good because You’ve already got show
North State Parent Family Resource Guide Spring/Summer 2022 • www.northstateparent.com
Potential ideas
S
R
OUCH!
o
eed is for you to show up, stick around, act normal, and listen.
● Help clean their room/apartment/office — maybe the closet too?!