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NORTH STATE PARENT FAMILY RESOURCE GUIDE SPRING/SUMMER 2021 FAMILY LIFE & SUPPORT
Benefits of Asking Your Children
Open-ended Questions
BY JAN PIERCE
Most parents have had the frustrating experience of asking their children questions and receiving one word answers: “What did you do at school today?” The answer: “Nothing.”
We want to engage our kids in conversation that lets us know what they’re thinking, how they’re feeling and whether or not they need support of some kind. So it’s difficult to hit one word dead ends.
But there is hope. You can teach your children to engage in conversation and open up to you by asking them open-ended questions. And the younger your child is when you begin to do this, the better.
Open-ended questions help a child to open up
Big, open-ended questions that can have a thousand answers support your child’s language development as well as critical thinking skills. So you don’t want to ask “Did you have fun today?” which will elicit a yes or no answer. Instead say, “How was your day? Tell me about it.”
When children respond to open-ended questions they gain confidence in their ability to interact with others. They learn to analyze and evaluate what they’ve done and the things they’ve learned. They’re encouraged to respond with creativity and reflection. Even a shy child will begin to open up when asked a question that gets to the heart of his or her thoughts and emotions.
Ask at an appropriate time
When our purpose in asking a question is to encourage a conversation, you’ll want to ask at an appropriate time. Often the best time to ask questions is when your child is engaged in a project of some sort. While you may not want to interrupt their thinking, they are more likely to be open to sharing their thought processes when they’re actively engaged.
If your purpose in asking a question is to problem solve, you’ll want to avoid “Why did you...” and instead preface your question with “How could you fix it?” or “What are your options now?”This puts the responsibility for coming to a solution on your child and you can guide the thinking to a satisfactory conclusion.
Question Starters
So, again, don’t ask a yes or no question unless you follow up with, “Tell me more.” Here are some question starters that may work for you. Some are actually statements geared to thoughtful answers.
• Can you describe...?
• Tell me about...
• I noticed you.... Can you tell me more?
• I’m excited to hear about your day. Can you share three things?...
• How do you think....?
• How can I help....?
Three ways to Encourage Full Answers
1. When you ask an open-ended question be sure to allow enough wait time for your child to process the question and formulate an answer.
2. Use active listening skills: make eye contact, restate their words to help them solidify and extend answers. “I heard you say...”“Did you mean...?”“Are you saying?...
3. Use follow-up responses such as “Tell me more about...” and “What else...?” Parents who take the time to engage in meaningful conversations with their children are building valuable rapport and trust with them. Rather than feeling bombarded by invasive questions that they don’t want to answer, they’ve been
taught all along to share their thoughts, emotions, their “wonderings.”
This invitation to communicate will benefit your child in so many ways; they’ll learn how to gather information, understand how they come to conclusions, extend their vocabulary and their logical thinking skills, know their thoughts are appreciated and gain valuable practice in communication skills that will aid in their learning all
throughout life.
TEHAMA COUNTY
TWINS & MULTIPLES
ONLINE
Twiniversity. An online community for parents with twins created by parents with twins. Provides support, education and connections 24 hrs a day around the globe. Find product reviews and virtual baby showers. twiniversity.com. (917) 442-2020.
BUTTE COUNTY
Butte County Mothers of Multiples. Creates a safe and loving environment
to provide support and education to mothers of twins, triplets & more. Provides educational, social, emotional support & guidance to meet the special challenge of parenting 2 or more children born at the same time. Monthly social gathering every 3rd Wed facebook.com/BCMOMS Enloe Conference Center, 1528 Esplanade.
Dandy Lions Children’s Shop; Red Bluff.
A children’s shop with fun new toys and unique baby shower gifts. A huge selection of toys and gifts. dandylions.shop. 623 Main St. (530) 527-7755.
Discover Earth Eco-Mercantile; Red Bluff. Offers old-fashioned goodness, including organic and handmade items and Ameri- can-made games and toys. discoverearth. us. 635 Main St. (530) 529-3856.
OTHER COUNTIES
Michael Olaf Company; Arcata. Respected source of Montessori toys and educational materials. Shop online or visit the store. mi- chaelolaf.com. (707) 826-1557. michaelo- lafcompany@gmail.com.
Looking For
Parenting resources, workshops and classes?
Get connected with your local Family Resource Center in Siskiyou County Free virtual classes & family fun events offered every night during COVID pandemic.
Did you know that each year Siskiyou County offers over 200 sessions of free parenting groups, workshops, and classes.
Dunsmuir CRC ..................................... 235-4400 Happy Camp CC .................................... 493-5117 HUB Communities FRC ...................... 459-3481 Mt- Shasta CRC .................................... 926-1400
Scott Valley FRC ................................. 468-2450 Tulelake/Newell FRC .......................... 667-2147 Family & Community RC of Weed .....938-9914 Yreka CRC .................................................. 842-1313
Expand your knowledge of up-to-date, research-based parenting strategies. Connect with other parents to share and learn from one another. Learn strategies to support optimal health and wellbeing for your child. Learn about resources for families in your community and more!
first5siskiyou.org G
These programs are supported through generous grants and partnership through Oregon Community Foundation, Ford Family Foundation, Siskiyou County HealthandHumanServices, MentalHealthServicesAct,SiskiyouCountyProbation,CollegeoftheSiskiyouFoster/Kinshipprogram,SiskiyouCountyOffice of Education, Siskiyou County Probation, Lilliput Adoptive Families support and other partners with First 5 Siskiyou Children and Families Commission.
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