Page 9 - North State Parent June 2020

Great Ways Dads are Different
called it a night. We all laughed the whole time, including my dad. I remember thinking of how Mom would never have allowed that. The next night we went back to our regular routine, but those little moments of silliness and flexibility taught me that sometimes it's okay to set aside the rules and have fun.
Ian Gilmore, a Chico, CA father of two, says, "I believe parents, both male and female, bring different skills and influences to their children's lives. In my own experience, I like to encourage my two boys outside. The outside world is filled with many wonders to share. Mostly, I want my children to make their own safe discoveries in the world."
Dads show affection differently
Kids enjoy snuggling up with both mom and dad, but in addition to sitting together reading a book or watching a movie, dads have a way of showing affection that is different from mom. They wrestle, tickle and roughhouse. They lift kids onto their shoulders and carry them around and often spend time showing affection in a dif- ferent way than mothers typically do. They carry kids to their beds and throw them onto a pile of pillows, which is usually rewarded with giggles and a shout of "Do it again!" Dads have a knack for showing affection and having fun at the same time.
Dads encourage kids to try new things
I love how my husband encourages the kids to try new things. It is usually easier for me to just order food for the kids when we are at a restau- rant, but my husband lets them speak to the waitress themselves and order their food. This
teaches them independence and how to be com- fortable talking to other adults. If they are too shy to do so, he pushes them out of their com- fort zone and tells them they can do it, gently encouraging them to try something new. There are so many situations like this. Dads often will push kids to try new things, learn to do things themselves or tell them to follow the directions on their own.
Rick Crowley, a Shasta County-based youth program facilitator and dedicated father of a teenage boy, encourages fathers to be vulner- able. He says, "What isn't really talked about so much today is the importance of a father show- ing vulnerability. The capacity to admit when they're wrong and make it right with their child. Learning how to model and teach the power of being a forgiving father along with the ability to ask to be forgiven. That's what makes a good fa- ther different from other fathers."
There may be differences between how mothers and fathers parent their children, but neither is right or wrong. Each parent has some- thing unique to teach their kids and different ways of showing love. Ó
Sarah Lyons is a freelance writer and stay at home mom to six children, including three-year-old triplets.
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