Page 22 - North State Parent June 2020

for community By Sandi Schwartz
Why Our Children
Need to Feel Sadness to Experience Joy
Ican clearly remember listening to Melissa Man- chester’s song “Don't Cry Out Loud" as a child back in the 1980s. Those lyrics have been etched
in my brain all these years. "Don't cry out loud. Just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings." Well that is ter- rible advice, according to science.
Things may have been different 30-40 years ago, butnowweknowitisokaytobesadandtocryonceina while. In fact, sadness is beneficial to our mental health and part of what makes us a fully functioning human.
During this spring's COVID-19 pandemic, confusion, stress and sadness have been running high for many people – adults, and, in their own way, children too.
According to psychologist Jonathan M. Adler in a recent Scientific American article, "Acknowledging the complexity of life [including sadness] may be an especially fruitful path to psychological well-being." As parents, it is our job to let our children know that it is okay to express their emotions, even if they are uncomfortable.
What Exactly Is Sadness
Sadness is one of the key four human emotions that we experience, with the others being happiness, fear and anger. Sadness is an emotional pain associated with a natural reaction to a difficult situation. It can encompass feelings of disadvantage, loss, despair, grief, helplessness, disappointment and sorrow. It may feel as if a temporary shadow is being cast over our lives and our feelings.
Of course, we must distinguish between normal, occasional sadness such as when someone hurts 24
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