Grandparents Can Bring Great Riches Into A Child’s Life

Jack Wylie and his grandchildren, August, Hazel and Iris. Jack’s daughter, Kacie, says, “He has taught us what is really important in life — relationships.” Photo by Ashley Moore.

Each spring our community is treated to a heartwarming sight as Jack Wylie, 94, makes his way to a front row seat to watch his great granddaughters grace the stage for their dance recital. Of course the girls can’t help but give a little wave to their beaming “Grandpa Great.” Is waving from the stage against their teachers’ rules? Probably. When it comes to grandparents, however, breaking some rules with them is one of the benefits.

Multi-generational connections enrich your child’s life

Keeping a strong multi-generational connection within your family enriches your child’s life in ways that are difficult to measure. Fostering those relationships could be one of the most important gifts you offer your children, your aging parents and yourself. Parenting coach Kacie Ellis, of Elements of Ellis, shares about her strong relationship with her grandpa, Jack Wylie  (featured on this month’s cover):

“My grandpa is Home for our entire family; a place we can share our worries and our hard day, our joys and our successes. He lives life at a slower pace and always has time to observe, listen, laugh and talk. He gives us a shoulder to cry on when we need it, a compliment to brighten our day, a lingering hug to last until we see him again. He doesn’t judge anyone or expect anything from anyone, he just enjoys his family. He has taught us what is really important in life—relationships. He always says, ‘I’m the richest man in the world because of my family.’”

Having grandpa in our lives is a privilege

“He has created a strong sense of family for my parents, sister, myself and his great grandkids. When my kids and niece and nephew are around him, they feel special and important—he always has time for their stories and doesn’t get impatient if the story lasts forever. He listens with the biggest smile on his face (although he can’t actually hear them due to his poor hearing). If the kids walk slow, he’s right there keeping them company since they all walk at the same pace. We have all learned empathy from him as he shows empathy in the way he cares for us. Now as he has gotten older we have been able to return the help. Having grandpa in our lives is a privilege I am thankful for everyday.”

Grandparent love is like a golden thread

Kacie was raised with her grandpa always near and now her own young children are benefitting from that close bond. Our children have similarly been raised with an abundance of grandparent love, both biological and “adopted.” Now that two of our children are adults we are seeing the rewards of our years nurturing those relationships. It took effort to pause for all of those grandparents at times, but the wisdom, humor and loving attention given to our kids has been like golden thread woven into the tapestry of their growing characters. Once woven in, those experiences can never be removed and they will be carried throughout their entire lives.

The timeless value of these multi-generational experiences is evident when we listen to our parents’ stories. My dad’s grandparents were well known for an excursion they took every summer with their grandkids. The grandparents would pack enough gear and horses to camp and ride daily with their grandkids as they distributed salt blocks for cattle throughout the mountain pastures. I have grown up hearing of the meals they shared, the mishaps with the horses and all the practical jokes played on them by their grandfather. The shared memories have kept all of the siblings and cousins close as they grew.

My husband’s mom wouldn’t be who she was today without “Nonna.” Nonna was her great grandmother in Italy. She first raised her grandchildren when both her daughter and son-in-law were put into a sanitarium with tuberculosis. Nonna remained involved with her great grandchildren before passing away when they all caught the Asian flu. My mother-in-law inherited Nonna’s discipline mixed with love and practiced it while raising her own children and offering hospitality to numerous nieces, nephews and kids who needed a place to stay.

Parents are wonderful to keep the ties with grandparents

Our parents were wonderful to keep those ties with our grandparents, like yearly camping trips and an opportunity for me to work alongside Grandma at her plant nursery. My husband recalls his German great grandmother coming for visits where she cooked delicious Aebleskivers (Danish pancakes), deftly flipping them with a knitting needle. We raised our kids with almost weekly dinners with one set of grandparents, long stays with another, cross country trips with one grandparent tightly packed in the car with them, international trips with a grandparent in tow and countless walks, talks and games with them.

These experiences and relationships do take a lot of effort, but here are just five of reasons why it is worth it for the next generation:

Fostering a heart to serve others

Slowing life’s pace for an elder helps children look outside of themselves. A child-centric family is harmful in the long run, causing children to become self-focused which surprisingly leads to self-esteem issues later in life. Helping your child think of ways to bless their grandparents fosters a heart to serve others and everyone benefits.

Loosening up

Remember the part about grandparent’s breaking the rules? As a controlling new mother this used to bother me, but over time this was just what we all needed to loosen up a bit and look at life with a sense of humor.

The world opens up

The world really opens up for your child as they listen to their grandparent’s stories. If grandparents share their ups and downs of life and the lessons they have learned, perhaps our children will be better equipped for their lives.

Learning valuable skills

Here is a secret from one parent to another: grandparents can really lighten the load we carry in raising our kids. If we can find time for our children to work side by side with their grandparents in chores, or a project, our children can learn valuable skills.

Keeping older loved ones young

Nothing keeps us young at heart as much as being around younger generations. It may seem selfish, but we want to keep our older loved ones around as long as possible!

Kacie has a unique tradition that keeps Grandpa Jack young. Since Jack is so hard of hearing, she picks out movies for him and sits and loudly narrates them for him. If you and your children have been left bereft of grandparent ties, maybe you can find an equally lonely senior in your community? They might also enjoy talks over movies or an invite to that special dance recital. I promise, the resulting smiles will be timeless!