From Chaos to Gratitude: Survival Tips for New Parents

Delighted, anxious, excited, tired – congratulations on being a new parent! The reality is that sometimes parenting can feel like survival, other times it is the best feeling in the entire world and oftentimes it is both. As a mama who works full time, helps my husband run his business and has a 3-year-old and an 8-month-old, the struggle is real. These five steps to survival have taught our family how to thrive in the chaos, so I wanted to pass them along because our communities are all better when parents can find ways to thrive. These steps are easy (with a little practice) and completely free to implement, too.

The hardest thing and the best thing

Parenting truly is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and the best thing. Think about your pre-parent life. Remember all the times you slept in or enjoyed your morning coffee in peace? How about the times you would leave your house in 10 minutes? Those might seem like enduring scenes from a past life now. Yet, my daughter’s

“I love yous,” are better than any amount of quiet that I’ve lost from being a parent. Remembering the blessings of parenthood helps you stay in that feeling of it being the best thing, which makes survival so much easier.

Just when you have your routine down, it will change

Once you start to feel like you’ve found a flow to your day, the little one suddenly can climb over the baby gate or figures out how to get onto the kitchen counter. They no longer like eggs, even though you’ve been eating them for breakfast for weeks. They begin taking shorter naps. The point is, make flexibility your superpower because you are going to need it.

Learn when to rest, not quit

Let’s face it, when you’re a parent, you never get to quit, but this one phrase has been the glue that keeps me sane. When I’m feeling burned out it is not a luxury – it is a necessity – to take time and rest. We all do this in different ways: baths, hiking, etc. Rest leads to emotional regulation, which is paramount to a healthy family. Plus, it is necessary to model for our children that self-care is important and non-negotiable.

Find Your Tribe

You are not in this alone. Connecting with parents is a survival lifeline. It is so nice to talk to someone else who is going through the pains of teething or a toddler who refuses to eat anything besides cheese. Playgroups in your community are spectacular ways to meet other parents and scheduling playdates gives you and your kiddos a chance to make what might turn into lifelong friends.

“18 summers”

On the hard days, I remind myself that you only have 18 summers with your kids and then they go off to college or out into the world on new adventures. Remembering I probably only have 18 or so summers with them to have them close in our home, to influence their lives before they embark on adulthood, puts it all into perspective, pulling me back into the present with more gratitude and patience. People always say, “they grow so fast.” I know there must be some truth to it, which is why I don’t want to miss a minute of it, even the hard ones.

Perspective and mindset are gamechangers for helping new parents survive and, dare I say, thrive. It’s OK to make mistakes and no parent is perfect, but these five tips have helped our family feel empowered through the journey on what might be one of the greatest adventures of all time: parenthood.

To find parent groups and outings where you can connect with other parents, check out North State Parent’s comprehensive online calendar at northstateparent.com/calendar.