If you’re a parent, then by definition, you’re busy and quite possibly overwhelmed. When parenting overwhelms us, it’s time to rethink our approach and seek perspective. Here are five TED Talks to inspire you to uncover happiness in parenting, seize the reins of your work-life balance, live passionately, learn passionately, and mentor children who fall on the autism spectrum.
How to Make Work-Life Balance Work by Nigel Marsh
Making investments in the quality of relationships
Nigel Marsh is a self-proclaimed former corporate warrior and champion of the work-life balance cause. In this fiery discourse, he comes out swinging by calling work-life policies such as flextime, paternity leave, and dress-down Fridays rubbish. Nigel, a father of four, clarifies that when there are thousands of employees working long hours at jobs they hate to have money to buy things to impress people they dislike, then allowing these employees to wear jeans on Fridays does nothing to treat the underlying work-life dilemma.
He counsels that it is up to us, not corporations or governments, to tailor our work-life balance, emphasizing that doing so doesn’t require a dramatic upheaval in our day-to-day. Instead, Nigel urges us to make small investments in increasing the quality of our relationships, such as spending an extra hour with our children, calling our parents more often, or nourishing our spirituality.
These small changes, he contends, can significantly increase our quality of life and may transform society’s definition of a life well-lived.
The Power of Believing That You Can Improve by Carol Dweck
Helping children remain confident and motivated
Carol Dweck is a Stanford University professor and a pioneer in studying how motivation impacts achievement in children. In this session on how to improve the way children learn, she summarizes compelling research that identifies a link between a child’s opinion of his abilities and that child’s willingness to persevere in the face of challenges.
Carol explains that children with a predominantly fixed mindset see their abilities as static and not subject to improvement. As a result, these children lose confidence and motivation when learning new and increasingly difficult tasks. In contrast, children who display a growth mindset understand that the harder they work at solving a problem, the higher the chance they’ll succeed. These children regard obstacles as opportunities to expand their skillset and are more likely to maintain their motivation to master a new skill when faced with challenging work and even failure.
Importantly, Carol outlines the methods parents can use to help children of any age remain confident and motivated when navigating difficult tasks, in and out of school.
How to Live Passionately—No Matter Your Age by Isabel Allende
Letting go of ambition, vanity, and grudges
Author Isabel Allende writes stories of passion, including the best-selling The House of the Spirits. Isabel, now in her 70s, encourages us to resist the aging of our spirit by living life with a passionate attitude.
She candidly describes how she has become lighter over the years by letting go of vanity, ambition, and grudges. She celebrates the freedom she has gained by replacing what she refers to as deadly sins, with spirituality, mindfulness, and the ability to see value in vulnerability.
Isabel advises us to practice living passionately by gracefully accepting life’s peaks and valleys—from success and comedy to loss and tragedy—and by keeping love our focal point.
The World Needs All Kinds of Minds by Temple Grandin
Understanding the breadth of the autism spectrum
Temple Grandin is a professor at Colorado State University and a consultant to the livestock industry. She is also autistic.
In this moving talk, Temple shares details of her life and how her ability to think in pictures and pay particular attention to detail led to her career success. She discusses the breadth of the autism spectrum and notes that brilliant innovators such as Einstein, Mozart, and Tesla would likely be diagnosed on the spectrum today.
Temple is concerned that schools, especially in more rural areas, may not be effectively developing the interests of children on the spectrum. These children, if appropriately mentored, may excel in fields such as science, engineering, and technology. She is especially troubled by the cuts in art programs and other hands-on classes in which many children on the spectrum may excel.
Temple refers to the autistic mind as a fixated mind. She stresses that if an autistic child is fixated on Legos, then educators must draw on that fixation to expand that child’s interest in building, which may lead the child to a career in engineering or the sciences.
For Parents, Happiness is a Very High Bar by Jennifer Senior
Shifting away from micromanagement to basic values
Jennifer Senior is a writer for the New York Times and an author on modern parenting. In this insightful talk, Jennifer examines the trend of today’s parents to micromanage their children’s lives, from checking homework to enrolling their children in countless extracurricular activities to shouldering responsibility for their children’s happiness.
She commends parents on their well-intentioned efforts to ensure their children’s success but cautions that this level of hyper-immersion is leaving parents overburdened and children overscheduled. Instead of this child-rearing model, Jennifer suggests that parents return to focusing on raising productive and moral kids by teaching children the importance of decency, a strong work ethic, and love.
Jennifer contends that this shift away from micromanagement and toward overarching values will benefit parents by facilitating a more gratifying parenting experience. Likewise, children will benefit from the opportunity to accomplish goals on their own within a less-stressed household.
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