Preparing Your Child for a New Sibling

Preparing your child to welcome a new sibling is both exciting and challenging. While this can provide your older child with a lifelong friend and playmate, the soon-to-be big sibling may feel reluctant to share the turf. There are a few simple guidelines for making the transition easier at each stage of adjusting to a newborn in the home.

During pregnancy, put off big changes and spend extra time with your child

Seeing you prepare the nursery and make changes around the house, your child probably doesn’t fully understand what’s going on, and may start to act up.

Put off big changes like potty training or transitioning to a big kid bed. Get a baby doll so you child can practice baby care, read books about families that add a new baby to the house, and spend extra time to assure your child of your love. If the hospital offers an age-appropriate siblings class, sign up and attend.

Stay positive and don’t blame your limitations on the baby or the pregnancy. Don’t promise an instant playmate.

Meeting the baby in the hospital

When your child visits you at the hospital expect them to be off of their routine and possibly out of sorts. Your child may feel scared because they see mom in bed and they may worry you are sick. Some kids will seem aloof or worried, or act up because they are unsure of their surroundings. They may also feel nervous about meeting the baby everyone is excited about.

To make this easier, make sure to greet you child excitedly, give them some undivided attention. Make a big deal about the new baby and the new big sibling. Take lots of photos with them together and help them gently hold the baby without a lot of drama. Have a few items for your child to play with during the visit and make the visit brief so it will be more manageable for your child.

Adjusting to a new family member at home

It is normal for your child to feel left out and jealous, perhaps acting out to get extra attention in both a positive and negative way. It’s normal for your child to have a variety of emotions as they adjust — excitement, joy, and pride but also sadness, frustration, and jealousy. It takes time to adjust to a new family member.

Let them help with baby care (bring a diaper to mom, go get a clean blanket, sing a song to baby), and also make sure to spend time alone with your big kid. Let them know how important they are. Tell them frequently that you love them.

Have some books available to read or toys to play with while you are nursing or busy with baby care. Show them the benefits of being a big kid, such as eating ice cream, playing at the park, watching movies, and staying up later.

Don’t be surprised if your child has some behavior issues. Be patient with their reaction to a new little one in the house and keep your expectations realistic. Things around the house will never be exactly the same as they were before baby came along.

Adding another child to the family is a huge transition for any family. In time, things do fall into a routine and you will not remember when your newborn wasn’t part of the family. Your new big sibling will soon adjust to your growing family and develop a pride in a new role as the older sibling.