Moms are on the job 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They take care of the kids, spouse, pets, maybe an elderly parent, and the home; and they often work outside the home as well.
Taking breaks to recharge and refresh is vital to keep from being overloaded and overwhelmed. So, set aside the to-do list for a while and give yourself permission to relax and ground yourself.
By taking regular breaks to “fill your cup” in ways that that nourish you, the ripple effects can be powerful, extending to your family and the larger community. For inspiration on how to start this “fast refresh,” we reached out to several busy moms in the North State.
Get outside and bring the outside in
According to Vici Miranda, Real Estate Broker and Big Splash Red Bluff Chairperson, “Self care comes in all different forms. For some people it’s taking time for a manicure or a pedicure or reading a good book. My self care is all about being outside and working in the yard or garden. I enjoy summer the most in planting, harvesting and canning/preserving my harvest. Planting abundant flowers and herbs that I and others will enjoy now and in the future is rewarding to ‘reap what I sow.’”
Kate Hiller, Community Sponsorship Support at North State Parent magazine, says taking long walks with the dogs is a favorite way to exercise and unwind. “Recently my daughter, Sarah, and I joined Tehama Family Fitness for something we can do together. Even though we split up for part of the time, she heads for an intense workout while I relax in the sauna, we enjoy our time back together for a mat Pilates class. I make my walks and time at the gym priorities to help balance out the busy work week.”
When time is short, gather some branches from the plantings in your yard and put them in a pretty vase near your favorite chair. Or pick up an inexpensive bouquet from the grocery store and put a few drops of your favorite essential oil in the water. Lavender, vanilla, bergamot, rose scents can help you feel more relaxed.
Give your body what it needs and practice gratitude
Check in with your body. What hurts? What needs attention? Our feet, necks and backs do a lot for us, so give your body what it needs.
Cheri Neal, a Chico yoga instructor, herbalist and massage therapist, says, “Since becoming a mom, I’ve had to make some trade-offs in my self-care routine. I find that practicing mindfulness throughout the day is a lot more accessible that having a seated meditation practice with a toddler running around! Even getting just one sun salutation in on my yoga mat feels like a win, not to mention my son loves playing along too.
“Rather than having a long soak in the tub, I take a few deep breaths of eucalyptus oil and do a little lymph drainage self massage in the shower. I think caring for our skin can be a lovely way to practice self-care, and essential oils can be easily incorporated into any skincare routine. And, at the end of the day when we are all in bed, I say a little prayer of gratitude for our family, for our home and our health, and for of all the support we receive day in and day out. Sometimes it’s the only thing I remember to do, and that’s good enough!”
Treat yourself to a special tea
Get yourself a new special tea cup as a symbol of your new endeavor to make time for yourself, and treat yourself to a new flavor of tea. Cheri Neal says she is partnering with Jane Miners and Jodi Pierce to open the Chico Holistic Wellness Center, which will include the Herban Myth Apothecary. The apothecary will offer “bulk herbs, tinctures and tea blends, as well as plant oils, essential oils and a huge herbal resource library as well as medicine making supplies,” Cheri says.
Put on calming music without vocals
Listening to calming music without vocals can help you feel more serene. Stick some ear buds in and listen to a luscious piano or violin concerto for a relaxing refresh by yourself or choose a favorite composer to provide background music for uninterrupted moments with your children.
Mandie Burson, Owner/Director of Kinetics Academy of Dance & Gymnastics, knows the value of music and often finds that a calming melody can be a wonderful complement to her cherished family time. “As a mom and a business owner, life is 24/4,” she says. “I have found that my kids and I both feel better after spending quality, uninterrupted time together. We love to play board games so I enjoy setting some time aside each week to play with them. I find it hard to do sometimes but I just have to brush everything else aside and understand that family time is crucial and volatile and I know I need to take advantage of it now, while I can. I am always happy that I did.”
Indulge in a delicious treat
Buy yourself a box of handmade chocolates or fresh organic berries at the farmer’s market. Keep them in a pretty bowl or other container that’s marked “Mom’s Treats” and indulge without guilt as a reward for all you do.
Becca Larsen of Pyroclastic Chocolates in Siskiyou County is currently developing an online truffle making course. “Mmmmmm …chocolate, am I right? The moment of bliss when it melts in your mouth is indescribable,” she says. “Biting into a good piece of chocolate can truly stop you in your tracks. It’s such a simple way to shut out all the chaos of parenthood, even if just for a moment. I know I’ve landed on a successful recipe when tasting it makes me do an involuntary little wiggle dance.”
Do some dreaming with beautiful magazines
Visit your local library or bookstore to get hard copies of magazines that focus on your interests. Turn the pages, enjoy the images and allow yourself to dream. This is your time. If a creative idea pops into your head, write it down before it slips away — but research it later, not during your break. Place a notepad and pencil on the table next to your special mom chair.
Pamela Newman, North State Parent magazine’s publisher, says, “I actually love to read gardening design magazines before I go to sleep at night. This totally relaxes me and helps me think of creative ideas before drifting off. I have been gardening since I was ten years old and planning out gardens on paper just for fun. Reviewing the beautiful garden magazine photos makes me feel peaceful and centered before I go to sleep each night. Plus, I learn about new plants and creative ways to display them. Doing this before I drift off is one of the ways I give myself something I enjoy without interruption.”
Tune out distractions and errands
During your break time, put your cell phone out of reach and turn off any sound, including distracting vibration. Remember that this time is just for recharging and getting grounded. Whatever fills your heart with warmth, tend to it and leave those errands and house chores for another minute.
Laurel Tennant, Co-Owner and Artistic Director of North State Ballet, says, “Being a mom of three girls under five, a wife and daughter, as well as a business owner, there isn’t a lot of extra time for ‘me-time.’ I’d like to say I fit in a massage or facial in my week, but I think most other moms in my situation would call my bluff. I actually find a lot of reward and a reset of my mind and body after a good teaching day surrounded by my students at my studio. And although it’s rare, my favorite reset is getting together with my best friends sharing wine and laughter.”
Commit to regular breaks
No matter how you choose to refresh, it’s important to make it a regular priority. Mark off time in your planner or set a reminder in your phone. Ideally you should plan to take a mom break in the morning and again in the evening when everyone’s in bed. For busy moms, it may be less stressful to start with a scheduled break at the same time once or twice a week. Start with 15 minutes and work your way up in five-minute increments. You will find yourself looking forward to your mommy break and that will help you to make it a habit.
Circle Gatherings
Since ancient times women have been gathering in circles to connect in the safety and comfort of sisterhood. These circles can include talking, prayer and ceremonies where each woman is committed to helping one another. Some of the circles in the North State include:
Chico — Mindful Mamas
Now forming, the group will be limited to six moms in the Chico area and will be facilitated by Nourah Al Anbar. It will focus on mental and physical wellbeing for mothers. Activities may include meditation, yoga, journaling, book discussions, parenting, self awareness courses and connecting with moms in the area. Follow and join the mindful mama circle on facebook @ Mindfulmamas. For more information: mindfulmama16@gmail.com. It is anticipated that the first meeting will be held in August.
Mt. Shasta — Women’s Circle
An eight-week series facilitated by Giovanna Taormina, is a support group for women to share, explore, build skills and encourage one another to live authentically in mind, body, heart and spirit. The next circle begins August 20 and meets on Wednesdays from 6:30-8 pm at 109 E. Lake St., Mt. Shasta. For more information and registration call 530-926-1400.
Redding — Shasta Moms Circle
A monthly group for pregnant and breastfeeding/chest-feeding parents who are enrolled in the Shasta County WIC program. It is a safe place to share the joys of parenting and to learn strategies to overcome the challenges. The first in-person group will be during World Breastfeeding Week on Wednesday, August 3 at 10am at 2757 Churn Creek Rd. in Redding. Call 530-245-6466 for more information.
Nourah Al Anbar is a stay at home mom of three-year-old twin boys and a five-year-old girl. Her daughter started her first year of kindergarten in 2021 at CCDS and is thriving every day.
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