What do you think of when you think of a teenager? Rebellion, always hungry and very good selective hearing? Stereotypes follow teenagers from the start, when the number of their age begins making that “teen” sound. But do stereotypes make them into those rebellious teens? If you believe your two-year-old is going to be that “terrible two,” are you already laying the foundation for that state of being?
Stereotypes can be self-perpetuating and demoralizing
We hear about teen stereotypes so much that we tend to focus on those things once we see them, highlighting them so that they feel that is the only thing that you see. When the teenager talks back, we may say “Oh you are in your rebellious phase.” When the teenager doesn’t listen, we may say “You didn’t always used to be this way.” These phrases affect teenagers more than you and more than they think.
A great example of this is the story of an unhoused man I met. This man thanked me after all I said was “good morning” to him. I asked him, “Why did you thank me?” He said, “Many people do not often recognize my existence.” He continued by saying, “If no one bothers to say ‘Hi’ then I must be what everyone thinks I am – worthless.” This changed my stereotype of those that are homeless. And I realized that the simple words of a stranger can change a person’s perspective on themselves. How we react or treat people either knowingly or unknowingly can lead people to think that’s who they are. So who created the stereotype, the person it is about or the statements of people around them?
Emphasize the best in your teen
What does a teenager wish their parents knew about them? They want you to know that they are more than their screw ups, they are more than their back talks or their messy room. They are growing and learning and they need their parents to guide them, to see and bring out the best in them. Parents have a lot of sway over how teenagers will perceive themselves, more than what a teenager will let on. It may help to remember all of what is inside of those crazy teenagers is also what is inside of you.
Posted in: Youth & Teen
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